I Need You To Know
by Hisagi69
Summary: What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. A RenjixByakuya oneshot.


**This is a oneshot. Its my first so reviews would be appreciated. And no sugar coating! If its shite just say. **

**NOTE: This scene is during the latest chapter when *SPOILER* Byakuya and Zaraki have double teamed against Yammy, while Ichigo goes off to Karakura town *END SPOILER* Anyway so they've been fighting for a while and Renji is still conscious. **

**Also, Byakuya is _slightly_ OOC here.  
**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach

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**I Need You To Know**

Pain. It whipped through his body in merciless waves; he couldn't even tell which part of him hurt more. He tried to raise his head, but it lolled to the side dangerously; he didn't have the energy to do anything.

"Renji."

His heart throbbed. _Byakuya. _

His eyes searched for him, though all he could see was blood. Blood and what was left of the bodies of comrades. He had so many emotions and they all clashed together, creating an odd, numbing feeling of hollow despair. He coughed up blood as he looked up at the ripped shihakusho of his captain.

"Renji," Byakuya said again, a little more urgently.

This time Renji looked up properly, though he could feel the terrible ache building up at the back of his neck. His eyes widened as he stared at Byakuya's back. His robe hung in threads, dripping with red; though still he somehow managed to look elegant. However, It wasn't his attire that shocked Renji to the core, it was his missing left arm. His blood flowing down his side. His cut, crushed face. His shaky frame.. He had never imagined the man he admired so much, respected above all others, strived to be like,_ who he loved_.. would ever be in such a vulnerable state.

"N-no," Renji hoarsely muttered, reaching out his hand uselessly, his vision blurring.

"Renji, I'm going to attack him with everything I have now," he said quietly, his voice steady and determined.

_Him? _Renji raised his head another inch to see Yammy cursing fluently in a pile of rubble not too far away. _Oh._ Despite taking a beating from Ichigo, and two captains, he was, shockingly, still standing. And far from being defeated if his strength so far was any indication. Zaraki had been knocked flying a short time ago, and had not gotten back up. So it all rested on the only one left standing; If anyone could finish Yammy off, it was Byakuya Kuchiki. Renji firmly believed that.

"Ki-kick his ass Captain," Renji coughed out, as he looked back at Byakuya with anticipation.

Maybe it was the blood loss, or the fatigue-induced hallucinations that were probably inevitable, but he thought he heard Byakuya chuckle quietly. But then he straightened up, a feat Renji wouldnt have been able to endure, and raised his only good hand in commanding readiness.

"I'm proud of you, Renji," Byakuya said suddenly.

Renji just stared at him. Why was he saying this? It wasn't like him to be complimentary.

"Thank y-you..eugh.." he said, his eyesight fading in and out. "W-wish I could still fight."

"You've done plenty," he said, pausing after. He cleared his throat and turned his head over his shoulder to look at the red head.

It was as though time slowed down in that moment. Renji could see well enough to recognise Byakuya's expression, of determination and acceptance. And of regret. They communicated more to eachother in those few seconds than all the time they'd known eachother. All the things each had wanted to say, but hadn't found the courage to, were somehow portrayed. All at once he realised what was going to happen, and everything inside of him screamed out, to make him move, to stop the inevitable. He stretched forward, he wanted to touch him, to feel his existence. But all at once, Byakuya took a deep breath that seemed weighed with some hidden emotion, and turned away.

"I ..care for you a great deal, Renji. I wish there had been more time to.. well.. goodbye," Byakuya said, stepping forward. Perhaps he had too much pride to say such things to Renji's face, maybe it was just dishonourable to do so. It was certainly painful.

"BYAKUYA!" Renji yelled out, spit and blood flying in his hastiness to stop him from shunpoing towards the advancing Yammy.

There was suddenly a huge clash of reiatsu and a massive boom that left Renji's ears ringing. Yammy yelled out distantly, but whether it was in triumph or sorrow, Renji couldn't tell.

"No. Please." he said over in his head, his nails digging into the ground and his eyes almost popping out of his head. He was keeping himself conscious on willpower alone, he needed to see Byakuya walking toward him. So he would tell him to get up and sort out his unsightly appearance, and he would dutifully gather some hidden strength and follow him back to the Soul Society. Like he always followed him.

Silence echoed loudly throughout Hueco Mundo. All he could hear was the sound of his blood desperately pumping through his body. His heart was flinging itself against his ribcage, as though it were looking for an escape.

Byakuya. _Byakuya._

"Byakuya," he called out shakily, to which he got no reply.

"BYA-" he started, but stopped suddenly as a large shadow silhouetted against the rising dust clouds.

_No._ Yammy walked leisurely forward, a steady stream of blood flowing down the side of his face, one of his eyes missing from his head. He grunted loudly, and it could be heard from everywhere. A horrible sound of satisfaction and impatience.

_This can't be happening. It can't be happening, its impossible. He's going to come out. Definitely. He has to! FUCK!_

Unvoluntary tears gathered around his eyes and fell in what seemed like a never ending flow. An image of Byakuya smiling at him from only moments ago reverberated in Renji's head like some sick slideshow. His arm was still grabbing forward, the bones sticking out, tense, unwilling to believe he wouldn't grab the bottom of Byakuya's shihakusho.

He suddenly let out a distraught roar of sorrow and passion, banging his fist into the ground, making the bleeding worse. Yammy hadn't realised he was there, but suddenly looked in his direction and was mere feet from him in barely a second.

"BASTARD!" Renji screamed, using his last remaining iona of strength to push himself to his feet and launch himself at Yammy, wanting nothing more than to rip him limb from limb.

Unfortunetly his effort was wasted, as he was thrown backward with a flick of Yammy's finger. He crashed into the remains of something hard and fell like a rag doll to the ground.

He felt limp, he couldn't move at all now. He expected Yammy would be beside him momentarily, ready to finish him off.

That was okay with him.

He blinked wearily, waiting for the ending blow to come. The few thoughts he had before he slipped into unconsciousness were all of regret. At never having taken the chance. Never having seized every moment he wanted to hold Byakuya, to breathe in his scent and tell him exactly how he felt. To _show_ him.

Even if his feelings hadn't been reciprocated. Even if he was rejected and humiliated. At least he would've _known. _He would've known just how much-

"..i love you," Renji whispered hoarsely, as the world went black.

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Well thats it, kind of depressing but hope you enjoyed

-H69


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